Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Why I hate Yahoo email

As regular readers will know, my email has been playing up since the end of September. I have written to Yahoo every day with no success.
After their last stupid email this morning here is what I sent them:

Dear Robot,

I think you must be a robot as a human would surely have read the trail of emails about this. I will assume that you are a robot that was trained in English. Therefore, I expect that you will be able to follow the content of this email. I apologise in advance if you are easily offended.
I have typed these things till I am blue in the face, but WTF I apparently have nothing better to do with my time.
Since 30 September I have had trouble with my Yahoo email address which is xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
My husbands email which is yahoo works fine on the same computers and same internet connection. I have sent requests etc to Yahoo every day since then, and I still have the same problem. I get automated stupid responses then a follow up which does not address the issue and when I write again the loop starts anew.
I have attached a document of what I think are the highlights of this marvellously pointless exercise.
Just a few suggestions for next time this happens to people. You may choose to implement them or not, I really don't care because I will never use your crummy 'service' again...
If someone says they can't log in to their email, why do you send an information request to that email? Dumb
If someone says they have carried out all the tasks suggested in your mail, and followed everything on the laughably named HELP page, and still their email doesn't work, why do you continue to tell them that YOU are happy to report you couldn't replicate the error. WE don't care that YOU are happy. We are NOT.
Why do you ask for screenshots and suggest people use an alt tab function when they have advised right from the start they use an ipad and there are NO SUCH KEYS.
In fact, why even bother sending ridiculous automated template replies to people that say you will be happy to help within 24 hours. I have been waiting more than 10 times that long and have not had one sensible interaction.
Good manners prevents me from telling you what I really think about this whole thing.
I can appreciate that perhaps, like Blackberry, there has been an outage that affects many customers. If so, tell us. If not, find somebody with a brain to sort out my individual problem. If you are unable to hire anyone with a brain you should use a different employment agency or pay more money. Remember, if you pay peanuts you get monkeys.
If you can solve my problem please feel free to email me.
If you wish to apologise for the appalling lack of customer service or common good manners in your 'organisation' (I can't believe I called it that), please feel free to email me.
If you want to send me another automatic response or stupid template with unhelpful hints like use the alt tab button, may I suggest you use your time more productively and have a toilet break.

I will let you know if I ever hear anything useful...don't hold your breath.

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