The funny things I see and hear

Yes indeed there is always something to write home about when you are in India. Here are some of my favourites from the last week:
Driving along Aurobindo Marg there is a toilet block, painted Public Toilet Green, with a sign “Toilet Complex”. There were 2 entrances: “Staff” and “Workers”.
In a bazaar, a pile of loose pantyhose with a sign pointing to them ”Stroking”
In front of a house “Do not park here. Tyres will be deflated”
Something that may have been a time pass item on Doordarshan, the national broadcaster, with what could have been the Indian National anthem (I’m sorry I am not very familiar with it) with shots of India: Mt Kanchenjunga, waterfalls, deserts, Taj Mahal, weapons and rockets, and Army Personnel in a parade ON STILTS.
There are still the ironing wallahs in every community – saw one today who uses his hot coal filled iron under a shade umbrella and then puts the freshly pressed items on top of the old red pillarbox next to him – so cute!
An elephant on the ring road at about 9.30pm on Sunday – and no it wasn’t pink.
“Madame, I will do the needful”
Blonde busty cheerleaders for the IPL cricket.
Stretchy gold or silver slacks that show plumbers crack even before you bend over – well not ME because I wouldn’t be caught dead in a ditch in them! I mean even on the mannequin! There seems to be a plague of them for summer.
The nightie as outerwear – also popular in Nepal.
17 messages a day from Airtel (my mobile carrier) telling me in Hinglish what number to ring to find a job, house, husband, watermelon.
The traffic light sales people: lovely red roses, magazines, window shades (must do a roaring trade this time of year) and FLEECE BLANKETS. Yes it’s 40 degrees, do I get a discount for 2?
The ad on TV (in Hindi) for Havells cables: the executioner hangs a bloke, then slowly wnders home, walks into his house and admires how his lightbulb, hung presumably from a Havells cable, doesn’t fall. Ha ha ha.
Shoaib Malik having to admit that he WAS married to the young lady from Hyderabad, and divorcing her so he can marry Sania – and just when we thought the story would keep us going for a week more!
Mobile phones: the number is: disconnected, unavailable, busy, unreachable, wrong. Network is: busy, unavailable, overloaded, closed. But you just got an SMS from it. AND you can SMS them back! Go figure.
And an important note – NEVER go into an Indian public toilet if you are wearing thongs – the footwear that is.
See ya!