Rain rain go away

Over 50mm rain in 24 hours = splish splash! Shame I forgot to shut the back door before I went to bed on Friday - by the time the cat alerted me half the kitchen floor was set. So was the fridge and the cupboards, and Lakshmi now had a swim-up food bowl. Not that she was very impressed by it.
Another busy week at work followed by Zumba on the Xbox every night except Friday. I'm just just as uncoordinated as ever. But having fun anyway.
Robin had to appear at the Indian Embassy during the week to prove he isn't a terrorist. When he left India to go to Bhutan last May, the immigration police chappie didn't have a rubber stamp so just scribbled whatever in his passport. So the embassy fellow in Nepal told him that he hadn't left India (clearly, since he was now in front of him in Nepal!) and needed to show up so that they could see he wasn't a terrorist. Not that they could say what terrorists look like. Ah, India!

Yesterday was the festival of Holi in Nepal and India. Celebrated on the full moon, it signals the start of spring. It's marked by the vigorous hurling of coloured powder and water bombs. In recent years it has become increasingly violent however, so the police in the 'du were ever vigilant to stop 'hooligans'. And quite right too. You can imagine how hard it is to get this stuff off your clothes and body. Not a day to be wearing chiffon. Robin very sensibly hid in the hotel till drinkies o'clock. I got to spend it shopping at the Target sale and watching the Tahs get done like a dinner. And a not very good dinner either!
But the BIG news this week is that Robin's guide book is OUT NOW! He got some sent to him in Nepal but I still haven't seen it - gotta wait for him to post me one.
Well it's time to watch The Amazing Race - I love how dumb some of the contestants are. Captivatingly awful TV.

Thanks India

Well here I am at yet another airport using free wifi. Can you believe I was only charged Re100 per kg this morning for my excess. So I still have some unusable overseas 500 notes to try to get rid of.
Well last night Manish, his lovely wife Devna and I went to Olive and made complete gutses of ourselves - I still have some of my pasta in my hand luggage to eat on the flight maybe, and Manish took home a pile of stuff! Thanks to both of them for coming with me.
Robin is having lots of dramas with horses, 2 died yesterday and it looked like they were going to be stuck or would have to cancel the trip. Lots of frantic calls on yesterday and first thing this morning, but it looks like we will be able to get some fresh pack animals and some help to get over the pass, although the locals are charging an exorbitant fee to clear a trail and come over - because they can. It took all my patience and then some to deal with that yesterday and this morning, especially as I managed to somehow lose my airline ticket in the airport - good thing it didn't really matter and I got checked in anyway.
think I'll try to snooze on the flight - got a legroom window seat, and I even have 7 days left on my old visa so just have to extend it sometime this week.
So again, thanks India that was TOPS!
See you all from Nepal, and Manish - keep in touch cos karaoke friends are forever!

Bored security staff in one of Nepal's many strikes

The funny things I see and hear

Yes indeed there is always something to write home about when you are in India. Here are some of my favourites from the last week:
Driving along Aurobindo Marg there is a toilet block, painted Public Toilet Green, with a sign “Toilet Complex”. There were 2 entrances: “Staff” and “Workers”.
In a bazaar, a pile of loose pantyhose with a sign pointing to them ”Stroking”
In front of a house “Do not park here. Tyres will be deflated”
Something that may have been a time pass item on Doordarshan, the national broadcaster, with what could have been the Indian National anthem (I’m sorry I am not very familiar with it) with shots of India: Mt Kanchenjunga, waterfalls, deserts, Taj Mahal, weapons and rockets, and Army Personnel in a parade ON STILTS.
There are still the ironing wallahs in every community – saw one today who uses his hot coal filled iron under a shade umbrella and then puts the freshly pressed items on top of the old red pillarbox next to him – so cute!
An elephant on the ring road at about 9.30pm on Sunday – and no it wasn’t pink.
“Madame, I will do the needful”
Blonde busty cheerleaders for the IPL cricket.
Stretchy gold or silver slacks that show plumbers crack even before you bend over – well not ME because I wouldn’t be caught dead in a ditch in them! I mean even on the mannequin! There seems to be a plague of them for summer.
The nightie as outerwear – also popular in Nepal.
17 messages a day from Airtel (my mobile carrier) telling me in Hinglish what number to ring to find a job, house, husband, watermelon.
The traffic light sales people: lovely red roses, magazines, window shades (must do a roaring trade this time of year) and FLEECE BLANKETS. Yes it’s 40 degrees, do I get a discount for 2?
The ad on TV (in Hindi) for Havells cables: the executioner hangs a bloke, then slowly wnders home, walks into his house and admires how his lightbulb, hung presumably from a Havells cable, doesn’t fall. Ha ha ha.
Shoaib Malik having to admit that he WAS married to the young lady from Hyderabad, and divorcing her so he can marry Sania – and just when we thought the story would keep us going for a week more!
Mobile phones: the number is: disconnected, unavailable, busy, unreachable, wrong. Network is: busy, unavailable, overloaded, closed. But you just got an SMS from it. AND you can SMS them back! Go figure.
And an important note – NEVER go into an Indian public toilet if you are wearing thongs – the footwear that is.
See ya!

Easter fun in Delhi

Well I managed to survive the karaoke night (mostly because apparently I didn’t sing loud enough!) and had loads of fun, except that I never want to hear Metallica again.
Robin called yesterday from the middle of nowhere to report that they were STILL about 12 hours drive away from Tuting, their first destination where they can start walking.They have been caught by landslides caused by heavy night time rains, and were hoping that the road would be cleared by 2pm. Fortunately the people in the village where they were stuck were extremely photogenic and hospitable, and yesterday morning they put on a fashion show. One of Robin’s boys, Nawang from Tawang, showed them how to pose and strut the catwalk, much to everyone’s delight.They are mostly animist people who live in bamboo and palm huts, and for dinner Robin and the gang had fish head curry. MMM may I please have seconds?
So what is on the telly? Well, this morning I can choose between stories about Hanuman the monkey god or Ganesha the elephant headed god – both involve grown men dressed up in gold headdresses, way too much makeup, ‘pearls’ and ‘rubies’ and appalling superimposed backdrops. Fabulous. There is also news/TV in: English, Hindi, Punjabi, Malayalam, Telugu, Kannada, Urdu, Bangla, Marathi, Oriya, Gujerati, and possibly my favourite: "Topper TV”. Topper TV is currently educating me on the comparison of different types of crystalline solids – I have no idea what it is talking about. Earnest professor types present all sorts of educational programmes, with a test at the end, so that the kids will become class ‘toppers’ (as they are called here). Oh look, the molecular arrangement in glass! Way too scientific for me, think I’ll go back to Hanuman and Ganesha.
The resident cat here, Hydra, has loads of thick fur and now that summer has come (it was 39 the last few days) she is struggling to stay cool. So I have appointed myself in charge of combing her regularly to get rid of her excess fur. In the interests of ‘fitting in’ I have given myself a title(everyone in India has a catchy title with acronym): District In Charge of Keeping Hydra nEat And tiDy. Yes I know what it spells.
Have had some more pool time which is a nice bit of sanity and coolness – don’t know why there aren’t more people there but I guess they are all working or shopping.
The rest of the house has gone to church for Easter Sunday, and I am here lying in wait for the cat to appear. Then I'll head to the pool when the driver comes back, then us girls are off to the golf club for lunch followed by a spot of shopping in a market. Life goes on.

Back from the wilds of the North East

I can now say I have been to Assam (where my favourite tea is grown) and can report that it is a little ODD. Because the North East (Assam, Meghalaya, Arunchal Pradesh to name but a few states) shares very porous borders with places like China, Bhutan and Bangladesh, security is on High Alert. India likes capital letters, but more on that later. So satellite phones are banned (as the calls cannot be traced), and all other mobile phones are blocked by ‘The Forces’ unless they are a North East issued number, and even then they are hit and miss. The internet is similarly affected. So, if you want to get away from technology may I recommend a trip to Assam? In its favour I must say that it shows the most beautiful shades of green: dark tea plantations, iridescent rice paddies, bright banana groves and all around heavy red clay soil that makes everything grow so beautifully. But then when it rains (as it did most of my visit) it gets very boggy. VERY. And as I was being whizzed back from Tezpur to Guwahati for the flight back to Delhi, we got caught in possibly the hugest hailstorm I have ever been in. The road had no verge, so we couldn’t pull over. The driver, bless him, ploughed on with hazard lights flashing at only about 50kph (well it makes sense to slow down) as that was somehow preferable to stopping in the middle of the road.
Which got me to thinking about, in particular, Indian road travel. I am reading a really good book just published here: “Mother Pious Lady” Making Sense of everyday India by Santosh Desai. If you love and are mystified by India you must get a copy. It explains so much about India that has often set me wondering. Like their love for Capital Letters. So, as I said I got to thinking about road travel in India. And I figured there are some golden rules:
Do Not Show Fear
Do Not Wind the Window all the way Down
Do Not Sit in the Front
If you show fear, your driver will either a) go out of his way to scare you witless or b) slow down so much that you are overtaken by donkeys. Neither of these are good options.
If you open your window, you may find that when you are passing a public bus you get more than you bargained for. Indians, women in particular, are notoriously bad travellers and vomit at every possible opportunity. If you happen to be passing just as they feel ill, you will get a nasty surprise in your lap.
If you sit in the front you can see what you might crash into. You will also get your leg felt up every time the driver changes gear, which can be surprisingly often. If you sit in the back like Lady Muck, you can gaze pointlessly out the window safe in the knowledge that you won’t know how close you came, and that the front seat is a large airbag between you and the windscreen.
And so what of brave sir Robin. Well he called last night from somewhere called Mirkung Selek (sounds like he went to Bali not Arunchal Pradesh) and was staying in the BIUTI Hotel (we figure it means beauty). He had a rather dreadful 12 hour road trip in the cold and rain, and has another one today to get to Tuting, the start of the trek. They had planned to take the scenic route but there was no bridge, and since there was also no scenic thanks to the weather they took another road. I think he is itching to get walking again. Poor Pema, who flew from Nepal on Sunday, can’t believe the time and distance involved in going for a walk in India!
So I am back in Delhi with Carmen, my Spanish friend, enjoying a cold beer and watching IPL cricket.
Hope you are all looking forward to the easter break.